It’s easy to forget that Salomon Kalou is just 25 years of age. The man is a Premier League winner, champion of three FA Cups and one League Cup. He has also scored goals not only at the Home of Football (Wembley), the Theatre of Dreams (Old Trafford) and, um, the Stadium of Light (Sunderland), but also on perhaps the three biggest stages of them all, the Olympics, the World Cup and the UEFA Champions League (including a penalty in the shoot-out in Moscow).
He is, in the current Chelsea squad, 3rd top goal-scorer – behind Frank Lampard and Didier Drogba and 7th longest-serving player. Most astonishingly is a statistic that seemed to have passed everyone by, including most Chelsea fans. This was that, after his goal against Wolves at the end of October, he had scored 9 goals in 9 games, against Inter Milan, Aston Villa, Wigan x2, Stoke, Blackpool, Man Utd, West Ham and Wolves.
However, despite these impressive statistics and accolades, ‘Number 21, Salomon Kalouuuu’ has a frustrating inconsistence, a flattery to deceive that sees the pendulum of his performance swing from laudable to laughable, often within minutes. You only need to go as far as last Sunday where, but for Kalou’s goal, Chelsea would have found themselves point-less at St James’ Park. This is over-looking the fact that, but for his second-half miss, with the goal gaping, Chelsea would have left St James’ Park as league leaders.
See also his performance versus Atletico Madrid last season, which saw him fluff an opportunity at 0-0 but ultimately, score 2 goals in a 4-0 win. No-one will ever forget, nor let Salomon forget, the ‘Worst Miss Ever In An FA Cup Final™’, which came at Wembley in May. I’m sure I don’t need to go on with examples of his exasperating execution, as anyone who visits Stamford Bridge on your average Saturday is bound to be baffled by Chelsea’s apparent Ivorian-Irishman O’Kalou, such is the regularity of the cries of woe and anguish from the Shed and Matthew Harding faithful.
Nevertheless, I feel that our bewildered-looking, Bambi-on-ice impersonator is a vital member of our squad. Lets recall some of the better times: a hat-trick against Stoke, a standout performance at the San Siro which included a goal and a stonewall penalty that was not given and the winning penalty in the Community Shield last year and Chelsea’s only goal in the same fixture this year. Focusing on last season, which is only fair in my opinion as the 2010 version of Salomon Kalou is a different player to the wet-behind-the-ears 2006 version, the 37 appearances he made show just how worthy a squad player he is for Carlo Ancelotti. It’s also worth mentioning that he would have enjoyed more pitch-time for Chelsea, had he not been in battle at the African Cup of Nations. If anything, his value to the team and to Ancelotti has become even greater this season, with the side so often left with a youthful and inexperienced substitutes’ bench after 2 seasons of sparse arrivals and frequent departures. He has 6 goals from 6 Premier League starts (and 5 substitute appearances), and has arguably (or perhaps not) been on better form that Chelsea’s supposedly 2nd senior striker, Nicolas Anelka.
Possibly Kalou’s best attribute is his lack of injury proneness; the Ivorian can almost always be trusted to play any role in any game, and his unwavering determination and enthusiasm to help the Chelsea cause whenever he pulls on the shirt should, in my eyes, be given more credit that has previously been given. This is a family man with a squeaky clean image who lives with his sister, who learnt how to play football the hard way at the astoundingly successful Académie Jean Marc Guillou, funded by ASEC Mimosas (aka ASEC Abidjan), which has more than 10 alumni now playing in top-flight European leagues (with one of them reportedly earning £220k per week at an infamously wealthy Manchester club). Given his development while he has been plying his trade in West London, it is not ridiculous to think that, with a continuance of loyalty and willingness to learn and improve, the Ivorian will one day be more than just ‘a handy squad player’.
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